Home Stretch.

We are rapidly approaching the one-week countdown until #miniJengster’s due date! Chris and I have read the books, taken the classes, washed all those tiny little outfits, and packed our bags. Now all there is left to do is wait. 

It’s hard to imagine how drastically our lives are about to transform. Even the simplest details of our daily routine may never be the same. We recently invited the gorgeously talented Kate Thompson over to capture a quiet Saturday afternoon in our home. These photos are a sweet reminder for us to not forget about the little things or take them for granted as our family continues to grow.

A crazy whirlwind of thoughts and emotions has been swirling through my heart and mind. There are so many things I want to say to the people in my life. I guess there is no better time than the present to express these sentiments as we savor these last few peaceful moments at home.

Chris: As we are prepare to celebrate 7 years of marriage next month, I can't imagine finding ourselves in a better place. We've collected an abundance of memories to look back on and treasure, and there is so much to look forward to, right around the corner.

I didn't know what to expect out of pregnancy. Although we hit a few scary and painful patches, this journey has been unexpectedly romantic and it has brought us even closer together. Thank you for being by my side every step of the way. You have championed me through times when I felt weak and discouraged, and have gone above and beyond to keep me pampered and happy.

What a tremendous privilege to be able to experience parenthood together with you. There are going to be days (and nights) when we will be at our wit's end, trying to keep it together and figure things out. Let's continue reminding each other to trust and rejoice in whatever God has in store for us, every single day. Chaos, exhaustion, and stress will be our reality, but so will all the delight, wonder, and bliss we discover along the way.

I cannot wait to see our baby in your arms. What's he going to be like?? Will he have your smile, and my eyes? Your sincerity and humor, my curiosity and imagination? I hope he has your selfless heart. Thinking about all your qualities reminds me just why I married you in the first place. I love you so much. You're going to be an incredible father.

Friends & Family: Many of you have pushed, challenged, and encouraged our personal growth over the years. You have inspired us to strive for our best, and have loved us through our lowest and worst.

The overwhelming love, generosity, and support that you have shown to us has now overflowed to our child, and we are simply blown away. Chris and I are working on connecting with and thanking each of you individually, but for now, please know you have our deepest gratitude for all your prayers, thoughtful gestures, and kind, uplifting words. It means the world to us. Thank you for being our village.

Wonka: Mommy has been feeling pretty sad and worried that you will not take to your new sibling. You seem a bit confused and troubled by the many changes going on around you, yet you have remained a constant comfort and faithful companion through it all.

My hope is that our home will continue to be filled with love, music, and laughter, and you are a great big part of that happy picture. I promise I will make time to snuggle and give you belly rubs, even after a long day. I have a feeling that your little brother is going to adore you. We are going to be just fine, little bear.

MiniJ: As much as you have already rocked our world, I am pretty sure Daddy and I have only the slightest idea of what is actually about to happen. As your arrival draws closer, I am finding myself unable to sleep. I've spent countless waking hours thinking about you and praying for us.

My heart has been changing and growing rapidly along with yours, and it still astonishes me to feel us move through each day together. Despite the pain and discomfort, I have loved being your first home. This experience has rendered me amazed and grateful. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.

I will miss having you all to myself, but there are so many people who are waiting to meet you! We are truly blessed to be surrounded by a wonderful community that will help us along and cheer us on. It absolutely floors me to think about how much love you will have in your world.

I have never been happier or more excited in my entire life. I cannot wait to kiss you, hold you, and to become your Mama. See you soon, sweetheart :)

We are ready for you, little guy.

Bebémoon

Happy 2016, friends! Chris and I kicked off the new year across the pond in London and Paris. It was such a treat to get away for a bit and spend some quality time together before the arrival of our baby boy!

I must say that this vacation did not turn out the way I had imagined. Chris and I both caught bad colds on our way over to Europe. I lost the detailed itinerary which I had painstakingly organized for our trip. And upon our arrival in Paris, my brand new phone, which held all the photos from our time in London, was picked right out of my coat pocket. Très romantique, no?

And yet, it truly was. These unforeseen circumstances forced the two of us to slow down, let go of high expectations, and be mentally present to savor each moment together. Tremendously valuable lessons to learn, especially as we prepare to become parents.

Taking things at a slower pace, we allowed ourselves the luxury of sleeping in, and often returned to our hotels for afternoon naps. Most days were spent exploring museums, wandering through bookshops, and ducking into random cafés.

We walked miles upon miles, but also ate to our heart's content. There was not a single lackluster meal or morsel to be had. Let's just say that being pregnant in Paris is a sublimely ideal situation :)

It felt deeply bittersweet to acknowledge the fact that this would be our final journey as a duo. I know that sounds so stinkin' melodramatic (blame it on the hormones), but I really must admit to struggling emotionally and having a hard time letting go.

However, as we made our way through these cities, I noticed something peculiar. There we were, surrounded by breathtaking beauty... and all the while, we found ourselves completely unable to stop daydreaming, talking about our baby, and looking at pictures of his sweet little face.

Chris and I have been all over this world together over these past few years, and we are fortunate to have such extraordinary memories to look back and smile upon. Although that special chapter is drawing to an end, I know that God has something greater in store for us. Our most incredible adventure of all awaits, and it begins once we arrive at home. 

A Tiny Announcement

{Photo credit: LittleBunnyNomi}

For as long as I could remember, I’d never felt a deep longing to be a mother. Throughout the first six years of our marriage, my mentality towards having children bounced back and forth from “Not for me, thanks!” to “Maayyybe later.” to “IDK.” In fact, it has been a popular joke amongst our friends over the years that Chris was the one whose ovaries were throbbing for children.

I knew The Clock was ticking, but it never worried me because I was so ambivalent about ever becoming a parent. I was consumed with building a career, my hobbies, traveling, spontaneous nights out with friends, and splurging occasional paychecks on furniture. And I liked wine. Not only was there no room in my life for a child, I selfishly did not want to make room. I wasn’t ready, and I refused to take such an enormously personal leap based on fear, pressure, or expectations.

But at some point, there was a shift. There’s no other way to describe it. I’ve yet to place my finger on the exact moment or how this happened, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I had given myself time to pursue my goals and aspirations. God was stretching my heart, and I had finally grown into someone who no longer needed to make room – it was already there. I wasn’t quite ready to be a mother yet, but I felt… ready to be ready.

And then, one day, I was pregnant. Aside from fatigue and bouts of nausea, I didn’t feel very different at all. Was this really happening? Over the next several weeks, there were times when I was convinced that this growing bump was just filled with all the soondubu, watermelons, and Bagel Bites I’d been beasting non-stop.

But the moment I saw our tiny baby on that ultrasound, waving and dancing around, I felt overtaken with wonder and fascination. It became so real, and my heart pretty much exploded. It sounds so stinkin’ cliché, but I never thought I could be this thrilled about having a baby. I am actually relieved to be able to feel this kind of joy. If this had happened at any other time before now, I’m not so sure I would have felt the same way.

As I closed in on the tail end of my first trimester, I underwent some intensive prenatal testing. After a week of white-knuckling, we were super thankful to hear that the results checked out wonderfully. And, as an added bonus, we got to find out the gender early!

Baby BOY Jeng is due April 3rd, 2016.

A little guy. My mini man. Our son. He is changing our lives already. I find myself constantly wondering what he will be like. I am so eager to meet him, to hold him, to learn everything there is to know about him. I am so excited to fall in love with him. To become his mother.

Picturing Chris as a father brings tears of joy to my eyes. I cannot imagine my child having a better dad, and I cannot wait to watch Chris become one - I think that is the one thing I am looking forward to the most about having this baby. Chris is a remarkable husband, and he is going to be a phenomenal father.

Six years can seem like a pretty long time to be married before having a first child, but I am absolutely certain that waiting it out was the right decision for us. My heart changed when I least expected - not because I was ready, but because it was full. Chris and I are stronger, happier, and healthier than we’ve ever been, and we are surrounded by a solid community – I believe these factors are vital to our confidence in bringing a child into this world.

Thank you to our family and friends for taking the time to listen, support, and delight in this moment with us. Now, please go celebrate with a glass of wine for me! :)