A Tiny Announcement

{Photo credit: LittleBunnyNomi}

For as long as I could remember, I’d never felt a deep longing to be a mother. Throughout the first six years of our marriage, my mentality towards having children bounced back and forth from “Not for me, thanks!” to “Maayyybe later.” to “IDK.” In fact, it has been a popular joke amongst our friends over the years that Chris was the one whose ovaries were throbbing for children.

I knew The Clock was ticking, but it never worried me because I was so ambivalent about ever becoming a parent. I was consumed with building a career, my hobbies, traveling, spontaneous nights out with friends, and splurging occasional paychecks on furniture. And I liked wine. Not only was there no room in my life for a child, I selfishly did not want to make room. I wasn’t ready, and I refused to take such an enormously personal leap based on fear, pressure, or expectations.

But at some point, there was a shift. There’s no other way to describe it. I’ve yet to place my finger on the exact moment or how this happened, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I had given myself time to pursue my goals and aspirations. God was stretching my heart, and I had finally grown into someone who no longer needed to make room – it was already there. I wasn’t quite ready to be a mother yet, but I felt… ready to be ready.

And then, one day, I was pregnant. Aside from fatigue and bouts of nausea, I didn’t feel very different at all. Was this really happening? Over the next several weeks, there were times when I was convinced that this growing bump was just filled with all the soondubu, watermelons, and Bagel Bites I’d been beasting non-stop.

But the moment I saw our tiny baby on that ultrasound, waving and dancing around, I felt overtaken with wonder and fascination. It became so real, and my heart pretty much exploded. It sounds so stinkin’ cliché, but I never thought I could be this thrilled about having a baby. I am actually relieved to be able to feel this kind of joy. If this had happened at any other time before now, I’m not so sure I would have felt the same way.

As I closed in on the tail end of my first trimester, I underwent some intensive prenatal testing. After a week of white-knuckling, we were super thankful to hear that the results checked out wonderfully. And, as an added bonus, we got to find out the gender early!

Baby BOY Jeng is due April 3rd, 2016.

A little guy. My mini man. Our son. He is changing our lives already. I find myself constantly wondering what he will be like. I am so eager to meet him, to hold him, to learn everything there is to know about him. I am so excited to fall in love with him. To become his mother.

Picturing Chris as a father brings tears of joy to my eyes. I cannot imagine my child having a better dad, and I cannot wait to watch Chris become one - I think that is the one thing I am looking forward to the most about having this baby. Chris is a remarkable husband, and he is going to be a phenomenal father.

Six years can seem like a pretty long time to be married before having a first child, but I am absolutely certain that waiting it out was the right decision for us. My heart changed when I least expected - not because I was ready, but because it was full. Chris and I are stronger, happier, and healthier than we’ve ever been, and we are surrounded by a solid community – I believe these factors are vital to our confidence in bringing a child into this world.

Thank you to our family and friends for taking the time to listen, support, and delight in this moment with us. Now, please go celebrate with a glass of wine for me! :)


Sixth Fleur

I woke up to the most incredible flowers from my husband the other day. They are in celebration of our upcoming wedding anniversary, which is just a few days away! So exquisite. I can see how much thought and care was put into them.

Ever since our wedding day, marriage has been one big lesson in unconditional love. I am far from perfect, and Chris knows he is as well, yet as we bear with one another through our slew of idiosyncrasies and shortcomings, our understanding of love and grace has grown.

These past six years have transformed us, yet I can honestly say that each one has been our best year thus far.

My wish is that Chris and I can reflect this abundance to those around us as we continue to point each other towards the Cross. We have a ton left to learn - it will take a lifetime of work, but the road we have ahead of us is filled with hope and promise.

Happy anniversary, Christopher.
Thank you for the pretty blooms :)


Lattitude Adjustment

You guys. Spring is FINALLY here! I know I'm not the only one who is completely thrilled at the fact that our days will soon be filled with sunshine, fresh blooms, and cuter outfits :)

After a grueling winter, Chris and I were desperately overdue for some serious downtime. Luckily, we had randomly booked a group getaway during a dinner party several months ago. Best wine-fueled decision ever! We zipped down to Mexico and spent a week far away from all the chilly nonsense. It was a short but sweet escapade with some close friends, and soo good for my soul.

We stayed in an all-inclusive resort called Secrets Capri Riviera. The luxurious adults-only resort provided a quiet, relaxing atmosphere to thoroughly unwind. There were also plenty of organized events keep us active and entertained. And let's not forget about the FOOD. Delicious snacks and meals everywhere, all the time! I must've eaten my weight in ceviche and fish tacos. We did not have a single bad meal during our entire stay.

Our days began with a run on the beach for Chris, and some oceanside yoga for me. We spent a good amount of time just lounging around the pool, and I did my fair share of just doing absolutely nothing at all. Paddling over to the swim-up bar counts as exercise, right?

I also found some solid alone time for myself where I could just sit by the water and reflect on what's been going on in life. There is something about spending time with the ocean that restores me with a profound sense of peace, joy, and inspiration. Oh, and I got to hang out with some pelicans, which was pretty neat :)

By the way, I am totally having a mini love affair with tropical plants at the moment. Their rich colors and lush textures were such a sight for sore eyes in the middle of such a crappy winter. I am definitely going to find some similar greens to bring into our home.

A huge highlight was the excursion we booked to visit an underground cave. Rio Secreto is a natural reserve located in Playa del Carmen. We had to take a long, bumpy ride through a desolate jungle to reach the sunken cave entrance of Ox Bel Ha, but the beauty we found inside was simply astounding. Here are some of my favorite shots from Emilio, our tour photographer!

We had to be careful not to disturb the delicate balance of the natural cenote sanctuary. This meant thoroughly washing all products off our bodies (makeup, lotions, hair gel, insect repellent) prior to entering the reserve.

Ox Bel Ha is the seventh longest cave in the world. It is about 112 miles long and over 98 feet deep. We hiked and swam through each cavern, being extra careful not to touch and disrupt the fragile limestone formations that surrounded us. Our wetsuits kept us buoyant and warm in the crystal-clear underground rivers. Neoprene is so hot this season.

Once we reached the main labyrinth of the cave, we turned off all our headlamps and spent an entire minute in complete darkness and silence. All I could hear was an occasional drop of water, and my own heartbeat. The experience was out of this world.

Still, the best part of this trip was the people we shared it with. I felt truly blessed to be able to savor moments of laughter, heart-to-heart conversations, and breathtaking adventures with such special, loving friends. I have officially snapped out of my funk. There are so many good things coming our way! More later :)

{Photo credit LittleBunnyNomi}